[
Family |
Spirituality |
Music |
Disciplined Bohemians ]
I feel I am the luckiest person in the world because of my family.
All too often I see families battle amongst themselves in an endless
energy struggle. I grew up in an environment where my family was
one of the only ones that stuck together. My parents never got
divorced, I saw my extended family often and there was no such thing
as "not talking to each other for years over a stupid grudge".
My father was a visionary... he knew to instill discipline in me from
the beginning of my life. It is because of him that my technical
mind is where it is today... he taught me music and the guitar when
I was 5, computers when I was 6 and karate when I was 11.
My spiritual mind I get from my mother. She never taught me religion
per se, but I learned how to live with regards to others just by observing
her.
My family has always supported each other regardless of what we might
be feeling or dealing with at the time. We have experienced vibrant
moments of joy as well as being humbled by tragedies. The most
trying times for my family (from my point-of-view) have been the 1990s.
As soon as we emerged in the new "90s" decade, my uncle Eddie
was murdered in Philadelphia... shot in the neck while sitting at a
stop sign. Not long afterwards my father's health began declining.
I always held a positive outlook while he was dealing with his "anemia",
but when 1992 arrived the truth came forth of his true illness... AIDS.
He died on May 2, 1992 and although the loss
was devastating we knew it was coming. The real kick-in-the-ass
was when my mother was out on a sunny day and the weather turned very
bad, very fast. It got really cold and started to rain hard.
My mother's immune system could not ward of a simple cold and a month
later on July 18, 1992 she died of pneumonia.
Picture, if you will, a medieval device that is pulling every one of
your limbs out in different directions, but at the same time you are
being compressed by an unbelievable weight. That pain is akin
to the pain of my heart. Multiply this by infinity and you will
get an idea of the pain my soul has endured from these losses.
The end of 1992 brought me to the Rochester Institute of Technology.
It was 7 hours away from my family. A year of books and partying
went by in a flash but one of the most important lessons I learned was:
"It's the little things that count." I found myself back
in Philadelphia after year 1 of college with no intent to return to RIT.
I transferred to Gwynedd Mercy College and started teaching karate at
the Montgomery County Martial Arts Center. I continued on
for 3 years until I landed a dream job at Unisys. From there I devoted
most of my time and energy to my professional career.
My family received another jolt in the beginning of 1999 (there
is something about January...) when my grandfather Jose "El Viejo"
crossed over leaving his cancer-ridden body. I wrote a poem
the day he was admitted into the Intensive Care Unit at Nazareth Hospital.
It's called "Say Hi for Me".
Say Hi for Me
Now you feel pain,
No chance to be vain.
When you start to rise,
It will be a surprise.
At first you'll be confused,
In your new found world.
But then you'll be enthused,
When you see God your Lord.
You won't see a figure,
But the feeling will linger.
A feeling of recognition,
As strong as premonition.
The clouds start to clear,
With them so does your fear.
Don't look down, leave all the pain,
Leave it here in the solid plane.
Abuelo, Mom, Dad and Ed
Give your hand so you can be lead.
Follow them with a sense of glee,
And be sure to Say Hi for Me.
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He lived a long time and passed on a world of knowledge to us... although
I miss him very much... I now know that he is with me at all times, just
like we are with each other at all times. It may seem odd
to summarize 9 years up in 6 sentences, but that is what my life felt
like during that period. Sure there were many memorable moments
during those 9 relatively tragic-free years, but it was only yesterday
that I kissed my mother goodbye.
Only now has my overall perception of life slowed down. Life
still moves at its frantic pace, but I have learned to live in the moment
and apply equal amounts of energy to various aspects of my life simultaneously.
I have many passions in my life, but the 1990s decade has shown me how
to focus all those passions and mold my journey into the new millennium.
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I am a very spiritual person but I am by no means a religious person.
I don't believe in religion. I have nothing against religions or people
who are members of religions, but I simply choose not to associate myself
with any religion in particular.
I wouldn't call myself an atheist. I do believe in "God".
I guess you could consider me a deist. I know there is something
out there which joins us all. A sort of "collective unconscious"
which is what drives everything. This "God" is not a human
figure and it is not any single "God" referred to by any single
religion. I believe all religions are merely different views into the
something that none of us can define.
Do I go to church? Yeah, every once-in-a-while. I was raised catholic
and my family is catholic. So if one of my family members is getting
married or if I am a confirmation sponsor for a loved one or friend,
then I'll go to church. But beyond that I don't attend. And please,
if you're a religious person, don't email me or call me or tell me I'm
gonna burn in hell for not tending to YOUR beliefs. I am open-minded
enough to accept your views regardless of religion, please do the same
for me.
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I started when I was 5 and was trained in Spanish classical during
my early years by many guitarists. One particular guitarist that
sticks out in my mind is my time under Carlos Rubio's tutelage.
I still remember performances when I would mess up but he would back
me up seamlessly and the audience would never know the difference.
That taught me to support others in their beginning stages of any talent
and it also taught me that the show must always go on.
I continued with my guitar until I was 10... and then I stopped completely.
Don't ask me why. I don't know. I wish I did know.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and discipline myself during that time...
but I know there was a reason my father let the guitar slide for the
time being.
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I didn't pick my guitar back up until after my parents died.
I had lost the ability to read notes and forgot scale theory,
but the music was still in my blood. I taught myself
all over again by learning how to play "Stairway from Heaven"
with tablature. I continued my self-training using sheet
music wherever I could find it. My music interests during
this period included classic rock and some heavy metal (I've always
liked Metallica's guitar riffs). For 6 years I practiced
my guitar at irregular intervals. It wasn't until the summer
of 98 that my best friend Micki and I started to play often together.
She taught me how to read notes again and some scale theory on
a piano. It is because of her that I am a serious musician
again.
Pictured to the right is my Custom
22 Paul Reed Smith. Try not to drool too much. ;-)
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I have recently had the honor of learning more guitar from Mark
Wesling. My musical interests currently have a lot of latin
flavor. I love flamenco music and also like jamming to Santana
songs.
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The definition of a bohemian is an artist whose passion for creating
overrides everything else in life. A true bohemian is a creative
genius but a social outcast. They can create the art of
tomorrow but they can't brush their own teeth.
I am a Disciplined Bohemian. I have many passions within me all
burning for attention, but discipline helps me balance those passions
with each other and with the responsibilities of leading a lifestyle
interacting with the world.
The Disciplined Bohemians are a group of creative musicians that balance
their art with their everyday social and work life. It's not easy,
let me tell you!!! But it sure is fun ;-). We perform Santana
songs as well as original compositions.